


These Days Of Wanting

by Holy_Mother_Of_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hint Of Anyways, Incest, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Character Death, More tags to be added, Mutual Pining, Protective Dean Winchester, Requited Love, Weecest, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 05:39:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2139057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Mother_Of_Winchester/pseuds/Holy_Mother_Of_Winchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It happened just like Sam knew it would.</i>
</p><p>Sam and Dean finally give in to temptation and fuck. Sam's happy and Dean's not and Sam doesn't understand why. Cue the flashbacks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Days Of Wanting

It happened just like Sam knew it would.

The slight burning sensation in his ass kept him grounded on the whole situation. Kept him from saying something stupid to his brother, something he knew he would later regret.

Instead of meeting his older brother’s searching green eyes, Sam starts stretching his arms above his head, waiting until he hears the satisfying crack of bones before he lowers them. A few moments of awkward silence fills the seedy motel room, and this time Sam is determined to be the one not to break it.

Not this time. It was Dean’s turn now.

Dean knew it too, if the amount of times Sam saw his lips move but then close abruptly were any indication. So Sam makes the choice to wait, wait for his brother to make the decision on his own, whether to continue with this thing between them or to break it. He’s just hoping it wasn’t the latter.

“You could say something,” his brother says suddenly, making Sam raise his eyes.

“What would you like me to say?” Propping himself up onto one elbow, Sam stares Dean down, “That was great? That was a mistake?”  Sam’s heart gives a painful thud when he sees Dean flinch. “Or that it felt right?”

And it had. The way they had fit together, the way Dean had fit inside of him had made Sam want to weep, but instead he had moved with his brother, taking as much inside of him as he could. He had marveled at the noises his brother, his soulmate, his everything had made while thrusting inside of him. And Sam knew that, that was where he belonged.

He finally knew the definition of home.  

Dean frowns, “This isn’t about what I want, Sam.” He started pacing the room, “This is about what I-,” he stopped short, “Dammit Sammy, I can’t believe I-”

But Sam wouldn’t let him finish,“That you what Dean?” He untangles himself from the thin motel bed sheets, “That you fucked your little brother? Or that you liked it?”

Dean had that look on his face that meant he wanted to hit something or preferably him. “Well if you hadn’t,” his brother took a deep breath, “If you hadn’t picked up that guy from the bar last night then none of this would’ve happened.”

Oh, now Sam was seriously starting to get pissed. “Are you fucking kidding me Dean? If I hadn’t..” He ran a hand through his hair, dryly noticing that it needed to be washed again, “I can’t believe you're putting the blame on me, since you were the one that practically shoved me into the door in your vicious need to get my pants down.”

Sam watches as Dean’s eyes trail to the room door and then back to him again. This was it, Dean was finally going to- “Get dressed and pack your things, we’re leaving for Pennsylvania straight after breakfast.”

“Dean-”

“Now, Sam!”

Sam silently wills the tears in his eyes to go away and does what he’s told.

The ride was silent, the only noise was the soft purr of the Impala’s engine and Led Zeppelin and Sam was just about ready to rip his hair out in frustration, every time he had even thought about talking to Dean about the night before, he was cut off by Dean turning the volume up or interrupting him to talk about the case.

By the time they reached a town diner, and Dean had ordered his usual bacon cheeseburger with chili fries ‘oh and the best rabbit food you have’ for Sam, Sam had had enough. If Dean was all fine pretending that nothing had happened last night, then Sam was too.

Sam makes his way over the bar and waits for the pretty bartender to serve him. The blonde gives him a once over,  and a faint smile curves her lips. “What’d you like, darl?”

“We’ll get to that later.”

The blonde shoots him a flustered look and gives him another once over, and tilts her head. “You here alone?”

Sam shrugs, shooting a look over his shoulder at Dean, who he notices is watching him like a hawk. Good. “Alone enough.”

“He your boyfriend?”

“Who him?” he cocks a thumb in Dean’s direction. “Nah, he’s my brother.”

The bartender makes a amenable noise and leans in closer to Sam. He can smell her fruity lipgloss, and cheap perfume. “That’s good then.”

“Oh?” Sam quirks an eyebrow, and brushes one of his lean fingers just slightly against the back of her pale palm. One. “Is that so?”

She hums, catching Sam’s finger with her hand. Two. “I mean, you're here, I’m here, so..” She shrugs, her hoop earrings jiggling with the movement. “Might as well have some fun while I still have the chance.”

Sam shoots her his best smile, dimples and all. Three. “What did you have in- ow.” He’s grabbed from the back of his jacket, he twirls around quickly, not really surprised by who he sees. “What the hell, Dean?”

Dean gives him a look and that shuts him right up. “Don’t you remember the thing we need to do, Sam?”

“Thing?” he echoes, “I don’t recall a thing.”

“Sure ya’ do Sammy.” Dean lets go and before Sam can get away he drapes one of his arms across his shoulder. “You’ve been going on about it for weeks.”

“I don’t think so, Dean.”

Dean ignores him and addresses the bartender Sam was flirting with instead. “Sorry, babe, but my brother and I have plans.” He gives her his traditional ‘I’m a fantastic lay wink’ and tightens his grip on Sam’s shoulder. Sam knows it should hurt, but all his senses seemed to have disappeared the minute Dean first touched him. His brain seems to be focused on one thing, and how it was practically twitching in his pants because holy shit Dean was actually jealous, jealous of the bartender Sam had no interest in whatsoever. But damn, if his brother being all possessive over him didn’t turn him on.

Dean pulling Sam out of bars and away from perspective fucks wasn’t exactly a new thing. His big brother had been doing it ever since Sam turned fourteen and had started having random women and men come up and try to hit on him at every stop.

To say Dean was furious was an understatement. Sam didn’t realise it back then, but Dean had a compulsive need to protect Sam from whatever he deemed danger, whether it be a werewolf in Montana or a siren in Georgia, or just a grabby thirty year old man with yellowed teeth and sweaty armpits. But as Sam got older he started to preen with the attention that for once was not solely focussed on Dean. At the young and sprightly age of fifteen Sam was already taller than his older brother and had mile long legs, a golden tan and the big wide world of adult life didn’t seem so scary anymore.

The first time he had even had sex with someone was before he started thinking about leaving for college and it was with a petite redhead named Amber. Dean had let Sam borrow the Impala for the night, after a quick nudge and a sly wink, and had told Sam that if he even thought about getting jizz all over the seats he was going to make him lick it up. Amber had giggled and Sam had blushed, and quickly put an arm around her waist, making sure she didn’t leap into his brothers arms.

They had went to a movie, some horror film that Sam thought paled to what he, his brother, and his father fought everyday, but Amber seemed like she was enjoying it, so Sam had leaned back and watched as the ‘good guy’ slashed the monster werewolf with his big machete. Watching as fake blood poured out of the lycanthrope’s throat, Sam had let out a snort.

“What?” Amber had whispered in his ear, making Sam take a whiff of her strawberry shampoo.

Sam had shrugged before he realised she probably couldn’t see him. “Nothing, it’s just so unrealistic.”

Amber was the one that had snorted that time, “Well yeah, it is about monsters after all.”  

“Right.” Sam had suddenly decided that he had liked the movie even less, “Because monsters aren’t real.” It sounded stupid saying it out loud, knowing how wrong it was. “I just gotta go to the bathroom, be right back.”

Amber had tugged on his hand while he was getting up, “Hey, Sam, we don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

Sam had remembered looking down at his date, noticing for the first time how green her eyes were even in the dark cinema, they were almost as green as Dean’s. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

 **  
**Somehow thirty minutes later Sam was rolling around with Amber in the back seat of the Impala. Her thin legs locked like a vise around his hips, as she had grinded up against him. He had grabbed a fistful of her scarlet curls and pushed his tongue into her mouth. He had never felt anything like it, the sweet taste of Amber’s passion fruit lipgloss and the insistent rubbing of her heat against his groin had sent fireworks exploding through his body and he just needed more more more. **  
**

He started running his hands underneath her shirt, cupping her small breasts in each of this palms through the floral bra she was wearing. “S-Sam.” she sobbed, and had arched her back for more, and Sam gave it to her willingly and reached around to unhook her bra. He lavished over her nipples, thumbing one and taking the twin into his mouth. He licked and tugged gently with his teeth, and ignored his aching cock pushing against the denim of his jeans.

He remembered snarling when Amber had cupped his dick through the material, and gently rubbed it. “So hard,” she moaned, “Sam I-”

“Shh,” he had gently pressed a kiss to her forehead and had stared down at those beautiful green eyes of hers. “I want this to be special.”  

The girl under him had nodded furiously and tugged him down to her, but Sam didn’t move. He had wanted to- no fuck that- he had needed to look at those eyes while he did this. He thought that it would be easier to imagine that way. Easier to imagine that it was his brother that he was making gasp and writhe beneath him, his brothers lips that were damp and swollen from his kisses.

Sam supposed that was when it hit him. The perfect moment of clarity and calm before the storm. The moment Sam knew for sure that he was in love with his brother. It was just unfortunate that it was while he was grinding against his classmate. He had stopped abruptly, and started kissing her protests away. He had started kissing his way down her body, skimming over her lithe form. He had stopped at his destination, and had studied her face, and silently asked for permission.

Those green green eyes had gazed back and him, and then Amber had given him a shaky nod and that was all Sam needed.

Sam was always told by his father that when a Winchester put his mind to something, there was nothing he couldn’t do. He had never really believed that until then, until he started putting his mouth to his what girlfriend? friend? In that moment he hadn’t cared who or what she was, and had just allowed himself to be pulled down by the sinful pleasures of flesh.

It hadn’t lasted very long, not that Sam expected it to. Before he could even blink Amber had propelled herself up and came with a cry, and allowed Sam to taste the salty flavour of her. He had pulled away and wiped a hand across his mouth, wiping at the the wetness there.

“Ohmygod,” Amber had breathed, “that was amazing.” The redhead had sat up and looked down at Sam still kneeling between her legs. “Your turn.”

It was almost easy, letting Amber take control of him. He felt her sliding her tongue along his hip bone, and she had nipped at it lightly, making Sam gasp. He had given a loud shout as the girl swallowed him whole, taking the whole length of him down her throat, and Sam wasn’t small even back then either.

He had closed his eyes and allowed the sensations roll over him in waves, he had imagined that it was Dean doing these things to him. That it was Dean he could feel licking him like a lollipop, making the most beautiful slurping noises he had ever heard. Dean bobbing his head up and down on his cock, his pink mouth stretched so tight around him. But it wasn’t his brother, and some part of him knew that it would never be. So he settled for pretending that it was, and he had let his mind drift until he had felt the familiar tug in his lower stomach, and had swiftly cupped his hand around the back of Amber’s head, giving her warning. She had resisted his tug, and had swallowed around him, allowing every drop of his come to flood into her mouth.

After it was all done, she giggled something about it being the best sex she had ever had and had laid down on his chest. She started drawing lazy circles on his chest, “We definitely have to do that again, Winchester.”

“Mmhm.” Sam had nuzzled at her neck, inhaling her scent, “I’m all for that idea.”

 **  
**Sam had returned back to the shack his dad was renting for a few weeks, just until ‘we find this bastard and salt his bones’, a few hours later. After dropping Amber home he had gone for a drive down to the harbour, he had wanted to relish the feeling of being free for a few more moments before heading back. **  
**

It was only after Sam had locked the door behind him and checked the salt lines did he notice the figure sitting on the couch.

“Ah, Romeo has returned.”

Sam scoffed, and had plonked himself down next to his brother. “You didn’t have to wait up for me.”

“I didn’t, I was watchin’,” he paused, apparently he saw what was on the television for the first time.

“You were watching The Little Mermaid?”

“Shuddup, bitch.”

“Jerk.” Sam had smiled to himself and had got up to go to the bathroom. Until a hand on his arm had stopped him.

“You know I’m proud of you right, Sammy?”

Sam had scoffed, and looked down at his brother, trying not to get too entrapped by his eyes, “Course’ I do.”

Dean had smiled up at him, and caused Sam to have a serious butterfly problem. “Night Sammy.”

“Night Dean.”

It never occurred to him that Dean had found the college application forms in his backpack.

-

Dean clicking his fingers in front of his face brought Sam back to reality. “What?”

“Dude, did you just have an episode or some shit?”

Sam scoffed and roughly shrugged Dean off of him. “I was just contemplating the ways I was gonna kick your cockblocking ass.”

Dean shot him a bewildered look and glanced back at diner’s door. “Really with her?”

Sam shrugged and looked away and started for the Impala parked to the right, excitement pitted in his belly when he heard his brother follow a step behind him. “Yeah she was alright.”

“You could do better.”

Here we go. He stopped mid stride and Dean bumped into his back with a surprised noise and Sam felt him take a step back. “Really?” He turned and forced himself to meet the green in his brother’s eyes,” do tell.”

Dean looked away after a second and stared at something over Sam’s shoulder. “Yeah well you know,” he looked up and held Sam’s eyes, and Sam tried not to flinch away. “She was just a easy waitress,” Dean bit his lip, “you could have anything you wanted Sammy.” His expression turned troubled for a second before the familiar stubborn jut of his chin came out to play, “All you have to do is ask.”

Sam was frozen with shock. No, no way. No way could Dean mean it like that.

“You mean it? Anything?” Images of the night before came unbidden. The raw inhabited sensation of bare skin sliding against his body, breathless pants of his name being punched out above him, fingers pressing inside of him making him see stars, and then Dean, just Dean, the smell of gunpowder and motor oil making a home inside his body, the fullness of being complete. And _Dean_.

“Anything.” Dean frowned slightly and pursed his lips, Sam knew he was thinking. “You just have to be sure that you want it.”

I want it. Oh god Dean I want everything. “And what about you?”

His brother’s expression cleared and something foreign overtook it. “Oh don’t worry Sammy, I want it. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Oh. Oh. Is that what he was worried about, he thought that Sam didn’t want it? Sam wants to laugh at the madness of it all. How could he not see?  

“I want it.” He clears his throat and doesn’t look away, oh god he doesn’t, “I want you.” All of you.

Dean’s breath catches and his eyes are shining in the moonlight. “Yeah?”

This time Sam does laugh, but it comes out a little breathless. “Yeah.”

“Let’s go then.”

Sam doesn’t have to ask where.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a kudos if you enjoyed and please tell me what you think. xx


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